“You do the thing you’re scared of - you get the courage afterwards”

-From the movie Three Kings

Hard-Wiring Your Brain to Do the Right Thing

I’ve been suffering from one of those nagging feelings, reminding me of the things I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, but haven’t gotten round to doing. How I should visit my mother, call my sister, invite a friend’s family over, fix the car, and so on.

Often, at the end of a hard day at work, it takes a huge effort to get anything done. It might be a nice, sunny day out, and it would be good to go out for a cup of coffee with my wife, but maybe not today, I’m too tired right now. Maybe next week. Oh yeah, and I haven’t visited my uncle in the hospital in such a long time - he’s so ill, and always complains so much, it’s too stressful. Next week, maybe, when I’m not so tired. I just want to relax, have some peace and quiet tonight.

On the other hand, life seems to pass by so quickly. I think I would be happier if I took care of those things, stayed in touch with friends and family, went out more, spent more time with my wife. How am I going to fit it all in? Where do I get the energy to do all that?

I’ve though about this a lot recently. I realized that every time I do visit my mother, or go out for a cup of coffee, I feel more satisfied and balanced afterwards. The trick is to gather the momentum to actually get up and do these things. Or is it?

Let’s consider the way our brain works. Each time we say a word, make a decision or think about someone, certain synapses in our brain are activated. Synapses are the structures that form the connections between brain cells. Each synapse is earmarked for something - you’ve got synapses for yourself, your desires, your friends, letters of the alphabet, words, songs and favorite TV shows. Hundreds of billions of synapses, working together to bring about a thought, and then action. The unique combination of activated synapses determines what you think, say, or do.

Certain synapses are stronger than others, and certain actions and thoughts have more synapse connections than others. Consequently, you are more likely to take a certain, predetermined course of action when presented with a choice. What, then, determines the power of certain synapses over others, and therefore your intuitive action over some other action? Here we come to the point: You do.

Each time you make a decision, new synapses are formed, old ones reinforced. The next time you make that same decision, it will come more naturally because your brain is already prepared for it. The brain has a tendency to utilize existing, strong connections rather than form new ones. But new connections can be formed, new synapses built.

Example: You have a habit of switching on the TV and making a sandwich after coming home from work. Some days there are other things you need to do right after work, but by far the most comfortable course of action is to turn on the TV and make that sandwich. Your brain seems to demand it. Or, you’ve had a cigarette after every meal for the past 15 years. It’s extremely hard not to have a cigarette after a meal - your brain is hard-wired to have that cigarette. You’ve done the hard-wiring by first taking that course of action, then reinforcing the cigarette-synapses over and over again.

It’s important to understand this, because by understanding our synapses we can take back control, and start hard-wiring our brain to make the right decisions. Realizing that every time you make a decision, or take a course of action, you are programming yourself to take a similar course of action in the future. Every decision counts.

You can turn this to your advantage. Instead of fretting about not being able to do the right thing, just do it, like the advertisement says. By actually doing something you are preparing your brain to doing it again, and each time you do it, it will become easier. Just like practicing sports. At first it’s hard, then it starts getting easier, and after a while it becomes second nature.

The secret is in the synapses. Build new ones and reinforce the good ones. Let the bad ones wither away. If you feel you’ve neglected your aging mother, go see her right away, don’t think about it, just do it. I promise you: next time it will be easier, and after a while you won’t even have to think about it. If it’s a nice day out and even if you’re dead tired, just go out the door, and drive to the cafe with your wife/husband, and sit and talk for a while. If it’s exercise you need, but can’t get around to doing it, just go out, jog for a little bit, see how it feels, you can always turn back. Just do it, immediately, go out the door. If you want to kick the smoking habit, skip the next cigarette. Don’t think about it. Just skip it. Don’t worry about the next one - just focus on the immediate action.

I call this method Synapse Action. It’s based on the fact that our actions cause physical changes in our brain. The decisions we make today will, by molding the very structure of our brain, shape our decision-making in the future. By making wise decisions we can shape our brain and prepare it to drive us to making better decisions in the future. This way we can exercise free will.

I’ve utilized this method successfully for some time now. As a result, I am more productive, stay more in touch with friends and family, generally I think my life has taken a turn for the better. Even this website is the result of Synapse Action. So is this post; I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, but today I decided I’ve got to practice what I preach and sit down and just start writing - and here it is.

By doing the right thing today, we are hard-wiring our brain to do the right thing tomorrow, and good things come to those who do the right thing.

So don’t fret it: Take Synapse Action!

Dr. Joshua

P.S. Let’s see if I can start a an Internet meme: What Synapse Action did you take today? - I wrote this post.

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Tags: change your life, habit, personal development, quit smoking, self improvement

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